13 days ago my beloved sister passed away.
Broken is an understatement. She was my best friend. The one who understood my neuroses. The one who would cry with me, the one who would cry for me as though everything that had ever hurt me, had hurt her. I miss her more with each day that goes by. I’m haunted by thoughts of whether I could have saved her. Apparently once the funeral is done, things get easier. It isn’t easier. It’s harder.
Sleep evades me, and when I do sleep I wake up feeling as though I would much rather be in heaven with her.
My heart hurts.
Everything reminds me of her.
The things I eat.
The things I do.
I don’t know what it means to go back to normal & do the things I love when one of the people I love the most is no longer here.
Nobody knew me more than my beloved older sister. I’m not going to be okay for a long time, so I guess this is where the faith part of this blog comes in.
Day 13. It might as well be day 1.
i am sorry this world
could not keep you safe
may your journey home
be a soft and peaceful one
~ rest in peace